An ABA therapist walks into a bar.

The bartender comes over, greets her, and offers her a menu, then turns back to get a couple of drafts for the group a few stools down.

She studies the menu for a minute, then looks up and waves. He stands expectantly in front of her and she checks her phone.

He clears his throat. She glances up, then back at her phone. He turns away and she snaps, “Bartender!” When he turns back, she says, “Use your words.”

He sighs and says very clearly, “What can I get you?”

“Good man!” the ABA therapist exclaims, and hands him a poker chip. “Let’s try that again. Go down there…” and she points. The bartender looks down at the poker chip and up at her as she points again, and then he shrugs and goes back to the group.

“What the hell?” asks a woman in the group. The bartender shakes his head.

The ABA therapist again raises her hand and calls, “Bartender!” and with a sigh the bartender walks slowly back to her, stands in front of her, and waits. She checks her phone.

“No, no,” says one of the other patrons in the group. “I’ve seen this before. I have an autistic daughter. She’s an ABA therapist. She’s teaching him socially appropriate behavior.” He takes a drink.

“Use your words,” says the ABA therapist.

Through gritted teeth, the bartender hisses, “What can I get you?”

“Good man!” says the ABA therapist, and hands him another poker chip. “I’ll have a gin and tonic.”

“How is she going to teach him socially appropriate behavior, acting like that?” asks a patron.

“Wait for it,” says the drinker with the autistic daughter. “Wait for it.”

The bartender sets the gin and tonic down in front of the ABA therapist. “Good man!” she says, and hands him a poker chip.

“Excuse me,” says the first woman who had spoken up, “but what’s with the poker chips?”

“If he has 10 poker chips when I’m finished,” says the ABA therapist, “he can trade them in for a 5% tip.”

“Wait, what?” says the bartender. “All this aggravation and a crappy tip, too?”

“No profanity!” says the ABA therapist and snatches a poker chip back.

For a moment the bartender and the ABA therapist glare at each other.

“Wait for it,” says the father.

“If you want to earn that tip,” says the ABA therapist, “you will need to comply with expectations.”

The bartender finally snaps. “Out!” he shouts. “Out now!” As he comes around the bar the ABA therapist looks at the rage on his face and scurries out.

The other patrons are frozen.

The bartender snatches up a Sharpie and piece of paper, scrawls “No ABA therapists in this bar!” and tapes it up on the window.

The proud father lifts his glass in a toast and calls out, “To socially appropriate behavior!”