Yes, Mr. Harvey, “retarded” is a word. It is also a loaded weapon.

 

It is a word that encapsulates the ideology that people with intellectual disabilities are exactly the same as the rest of us, but slower, so that when they reach adulthood, they are still “really” children. Children in our society are regarded as less capable than adults, and they are denied roles and rights that adults take for granted. And thus these things happen to people regarded as “retarded.”

 

Fetuses expected to become retarded people are often selectively targeted for abortion, although they and their families can lead wonderful lives. Those prospective parents who choose to have and to raise their children are encouraged to think of their future babies in terms of deficit and loss.

 

Infants regarded as “retarded” may be left to die rather than provided basic lifesaving care.  Their parents receive condolences rather than congratulations at their birth.

 

Children regarded as [the R word] are frequently forced out of mainstream education into segregated programs where they are prepared for deeply limited futures.  Some are abandoned by their families altogether, and those largely go into institutional “care.”

 

Youths regarded as [the R word] are shunted into no-future day programs rather than encouraged to learn job skills or to build rewarding lives without employment.

 

People wishing to move out on their own who are regarded as [the R word] are often offered only care under the direction of others rather than lives in which, with support, they make their own decisions and express their own desires.

 

Adults regarded as [the R word] may be denied the opportunity to form mutually desired romantic and sexual relationships.  Their romances may be broken up.

 

Parents regarded as [the R word] frequently have their children ripped from them.

 

Job-seekers regarded as [the R word] are likely to be presumed incompetent and denied jobs they can do for that reason.

 

 

Neighbors regarded as [the R word] tend to be isolated, and tend to be regarded with suspicion by those concerned with their property values.

 

Patients regarded as [the R word] usually receive substandard medical care. They are believed not to feel pain or deserve the same care as others.

 

Human beings regarded as [the R word] have expressed for many years how much the term hurts them, yet people continue to use it without regard for their feelings.

 

[the R word] is a brutal and powerful word, which is used to limit, control, and destroy human beings. It’s a word. But it’s not just a word. It is a loaded weapon, and it has killed people.

 

For decades, those at whom the weapon is aimed have asked us to put it down. Many people have. Many people haven’t.  Picking up that weapon and firing it, Mr. Harvey, is an act of aggression.  When people criticize Mrs. Harvey for firing it into a crowd, they are not just looking for something to be upset about. They are upset because she is hurting people. Real people. People who do not deserve to be hurt.

 

People with intellectual disabilities are our children, our siblings, our playmates, our friends, our neighbors, our parents, our relatives, our community members, our coworkers, our customers, our allies, and our leaders. They are lovers and fighters, activists and advocates, homebodies and social forces of nature, sports and science fiction fans, students and athletes. They are talented and creative and beautiful and smart and wise and strong and wonderful. They are human beings, the same as anyone else. And to use one of the most hurtful words in the English language to target them is more than just using a word. It is an act of aggression, intentional or not. It may not be at the level of Pennhurst and Willowbrook, Fernald and Forest Haven, but the ideology of [the R word] helped to sustain those places.

 

Decent people strive to eradicate the word from their vocabularies. They don’t defend it.

 

Yes, Mr. Harvey, [the R word] is a word. But it is so much more.