To the larger disability community,

Some of you have been asking what you can do to support autistic people during Autism Awareness Month. Thank you!

Of course, if you want to support specific people, ask them. Autistic people aren’t mass-produced. We come from sex, just like everyone else, which means means we start out as individuals, and then life shapes us into completely unique people.

But in recognition of the fact that it is not always easy to figure out how to express your concern for people who are different from you in a way that they understand, here are some more generic suggestions in the hope that you find a way of expressing your support for our community that works for you. Please keep in mind, again, that we are individuals. We may not all agree on what’s helpful, and if someone tells you they don’t like the way you are trying to support them, it’s important to listen.

1. Watch and share this video: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mR37CvpPYUk Ask yourself: do the disability organizations you are a part of center autistic voices, including those of nonspeaking people, people with intellectual disabilities, and members of intersected marginalized groups, on autism issues and include them equally on cross-disability issues?

2. Take the pledge to only support organizations that do include autistic voices in conversations about autism: http://www.autismacceptancemonth.com/pledge/

3. Check out a classic article, Jim Sinclair’s “Don’t Mourn For Us”: http://www.autreat.com/dont_mourn.html Think seriously about what it is like to live every day with the message that your existence is something worth grieving.

4. Learn about the Neurodiversity Paradigm: http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/neurodiversity-some-basic-terms-definitions/ Think about how that connects with pride in who we are, in self-respect, and in our ability to see ourselves as whole people.

5. Educate yourself about Autism Speaks, the entity behind Autism Awareness Month: https://autismwomensnetwork.org/is-autism-speaks-a-hate-group/ Find out why it is a hate group. Learn about some of the history: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C7NTfZzS9b8

6. Then learn about Autism Awareness itself: https://crippledscholar.com/2017/04/01/if-you-care-about-autistic-people-dont-just-perform-solidarity/

7. Instead of Lighting It Up Blue, Light It Up Gold (AU) or Go Red Instead: https://us.blastingnews.com/opinion/2016/04/why-adults-with-autism-aren-t-going-to-light-it-up-blue-this-april-00860367.html

8. Celebrate Autism Acceptance Month: http://www.autismacceptancemonth.com

9. Explore Allism Awareness (if you’re not autistic, you’re allistic): https://www.facebook.com/Toneitdowntaupe/ Learn what life is like for the family members who struggle to force their allistic loved ones to act the way we want them to: https://www.facebook.com/theNTwife/

10. But while you’re joining in the fun of it, keep in mind that the ideas people share about autistics have real consequences: http://autisticadvocacy.org/2018/03/remarks-from-julia-bascom-at-the-dc-ddom-vigil/

11. Think seriously about the assumptions you and others are making about the causes and meanings of the communication gaps that exist between autistic and allistic people: http://blogs.lse.ac.uk/businessreview/2017/07/31/employers-may-discriminate-against-autism-without-realising/

12. Understand that mainstream society’s expectations that everyone will communicate — or do anything else — in a particular way are not only not in line with reality, but actually preventing the world from welcoming and celebrating some outstanding individuals: https://theautismwars.blogspot.com/2017/08/how-my-nonspeaking-autistic-son-taught.html?m=1. Sure, sometimes these things are challenging. But if we accept each other we can get through it together.

13. Think about what it really means to support disabled people: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wunHDfZFxXw And put that understanding into action.

14. Encourage the autistic people you know in developing pride in who we are, rather than the shame that the deficit model promotes: https://www.broadreachtraining.com/you-get-proud-by-practicing/

15. Get comfortable with the pain and rage autistic people feel in response to how we are treated: http://www.mmonjejr.com/2014/10/its-time-to-accept-that-they-hate-you.html?m=1. Get comfortable with the mistrust autistic people feel in response to how we are treated: http://www.autistichoya.com/2016/12/i-dont-trust-allies-and-im-not-sorry.html?m=1. These things are not going away any time soon, because it is *hard* to be autistic in the world allistics have made.

16. And, speaking of pain and rage, you know all those “meltdown” videos parents keep sticking on YouTube? Ask us to explain them: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FhUDyarzqXE Because you clearly aren’t seeing what we see in them. They seem to suggest to you that we are subhuman. We look at them and see children pushed beyond their limits to cope.

17. Understand that we want a lot of the same things you do. Quit promoting self-directed home-based services for yourselves and “community-based” institutions for us. Quit promoting self-determination for yourselves and “socially relevant behaviors” for us. Quit fighting EVV while arguing that we should be fitted for GPS trackers. We don’t want exactly the same things you want, but we’re tired of you assuming things you would never tolerate for yourselves are good enough for some or all of us.

18. Oh, yeah, and we want full access to the movement, too: http://autisticadvocacy.org/2017/11/2017-asan-gala-speech-by-julia-bascom/ For every single one of us. Remember this pledge? http://www.autismacceptancemonth.com/pledge/ “Cross-disability” organizations are autism organizations, too.

19. But it’s not all about the work. One of the most powerful things you can do to help autistics resist the pain and exhaustion of Autism Awareness is genuine, reciprocal friendship: https://ollibean.com/an-autistic-weighs-in-on-friendship/ That’s not something a lot of us get much of.

20. Now, if you would, please watch this video again: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mR37CvpPYUk Every single one of us has something to say and a way to say it, but we need other people to listen to us. When you show the world that you are prepared to take “Nothing about us, without us” seriously, you are helping those people who are often silenced.

Thanks again for your interest in reaching out this April!